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In a novella-length portrait of the author as a Hollywood dad, semi-legendary writer Neal Pollack humorously recounts his failed attempts to transform his family into a multi-platform media brand.
After an encouraging call from a film and TV agent in Los Angeles, happily married and once-almost-bestselling author Neal Pollack plunges through the slightest of openings to pursue the modern American dream: fame. He uproots his family—including his wife, Regina, a painter with whom he shares a pact to always honor each other’s artistic pursuits—and moves to California.
What follows is a funny and ultimately moving account of ridiculous bad timing and luck. In a monumental first step, Pollack accidentally options his life rights to a major film studio. From afar he watches as his new hipster-parenting memoir, Alternadad, garners actual vitriol from the national press. The Writer’s Guild goes on strike as soon as Pollack becomes a member, and—in his breakthrough moment—he stands before the head of comedy development at HBO to deliver his pitch…and forgets what he has to say.
Not Coming Soon to a Theater Near You is a lighthearted look at one man’s ill-fated worming into the heart of Hollywood, the Silver Lake School District, and Los Angeles at large, but it also reveals a darn good marriage under significant duress.
- Sales Rank: #133936 in eBooks
- Published on: 2016-02-16
- Released on: 2016-02-16
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Neal Pollack has published ten books of fiction and nonfiction, including the memoirs Alternadad and Stretch, the cult classic Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature, and the novels Jewball, Repeat, and Downward-Facing Death. His latest book, a science-fiction action comedy about space gentrification called Keep Mars Weird, was published by Amazon’s 47North imprint in October 2015. He lives in Austin, Texas, seemingly against his will.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
A fast, funny and, ultimately, poignant tale of chasing the Hollywood dream
By Kim Foster
I loved this Kindle Single. It's a fast read and Pollack keeps the reader completely entertained and moving from page to page. It's also a Hollywood experience that is real and hard and wise and funny, and in the end, poignant. It's about chasing your dream and managing a marriage, all told with Pollack's self-deprecating, witty prose. I especially love that he is willing to deeply excavate his own shortcomings and lay them out there for all of us to look at. This is a real Hollywood story. This should be required reading for every young person moving to Hollywood to nakedly and naively chase their dream.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Compulsively Readable, Gutbustingly Funny
By Lisanne Borgnes
I inhaled this book in one ravenous gulp. Acclaimed novelist Neal Pollack's tale of trying to make it as a writer in Hollywood is trenchantly observed and gutbustingly funny. If you want to know what it's really like to NOT make it in Hollywood, this is the book for you. When he's not struggling to adapt his life story into a TV series or get a foot in the door at HBO, Neal is navigating the very particular local world of LA hipsters, sky-high rentals and precious preschools and telling it like it really is (and I know, I live there). LA is full of shiny white teeth -- lovely when they're smiling at you, not so pleasant when they're bared. I still don't believe he can't succeed here -- anyone who writes a book as brilliant as this has a place in this town -- but I get that mishaps and setbacks can only be suffered for so long.
Bottom line: An instant classic, to be filed next to Nathanael West's Day of the Locust, Michael Tolkin's The Player, and F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Pat Hobby Stories.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
" It's also about bad timing -- in life and in creative pursuits
By AppleBrownBetty
Neal Pollack's new memoir is an endearing balm for anyone who's ever died a little trying to make something happen. It's about failure, yes, but it's also about figuring out what really matters. It's for any writer who has ever dreamed of having their life stories played out on a screen but who hasn't considered the spiritual, mental and emotional toll of trying to make it "big." It's also about bad timing -- in life and in creative pursuits.
For me, the timing for this book was just right -- on the heels of a personal professional failure. But I don't think I'm going to have to immerse myself in the entire failure memoir genre now. It was enough to read this one about Neal, already famous-but-not-quite, and his Hollywood career's spectacular demise. Short, funny, sad. My favorite kind of writer -- he does it so you don't have to.
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